Police Humor : How to Write a Police Report
Narrative: on 07/08/07, at approximately 0326 hours, i was traveling northbound in the 6100 block of n. College ave. in my fully marked impd police vehicle and in full uniform. I had my windows rolled down. I heard a male voice calling for a pig, he was saying "suey! Piggy! Piggy!" I looked over and observed three white males and a white female walking southbound on the east side of n. College ave.
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One of the white males wearing blue jeans and a light colored buttoned up shirt looked directly at me with red glassy bloodshot eyes and said, "suey piggy, piggy." i was concerned that the man had lost his pig and that it might have been roaming around in the broad ripple area so i decided to stop and assist him, because i know how devastating a loss of pet can be. I identified the white male subject from an indiana driver's license as james adam mcgrath, dob 1/22/82. While i was speaking with mr. Mcgrath about his possible lost pig, i smelled a strong odor commonly associated with alcoholic beverages on his breath and person. His speech was also slightly slurred.
I placed mr. Mcgrath under arrest for public intoxication and he was transported to the apc by a marion county jail wagon. I searched the entire broad ripple area and unfortunately was not able to locate any lost pigs. All of the above occurred in marion county, indianapolis, indiana.